Everytime one of my kids were born you would think it would become easier…right? Nope!! Every one of my rascals bought their own challenges.
Whilst dealing with a new born baby at the hospital your mind wanders to the other kids you have at home. You start worrying about how they will cope without you and whether you left out everything your partner might need to ensure that your kids don’t want for anything. Did I leave out extra baby wipes? Will he be able to find the spare clothes in case there is a poo explosion?Will he remember to feed them? I’m not kidding about that last one!
So while you are having those thoughts, you constantly have medical professionals hovering over you asking you lots of questions and poking and prodding you. They want to check the baby over, they want to bath the baby, they want to make sure the baby can hear properly and that you are feeding the baby. Whilst all of that is essential and I want a healthy baby, at what time in the day do you think i just wanted to scream and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY, I’VE JUST HAD A BABY AND I AM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK.
But you can’t say that.. right?? So you plod on and have a sleepless night because you feel uncomfortable with the stitches and pain. The baby is restless and constantly hungry and you are annoyed at the girl across the ward who is snoring away whilst her baby is tucked up nicely in the hospital cot. So what are you doing wrong?
The answer is NOTHING!
Every baby is different so you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it or compare your baby to others.
I remember after one of my deliveries, my partner came to collect me from the hospital ward and I as so pleased to see him. I was itching to get home. I looked for the car seat to tuck the baby into but I couldn’t see it. Turns out there was no car seat. It was at home. So the emotional wreck that is me, started to blubber as I removed my baby’s jacket and hat and sunk into the chair beside my hospital bed. It would be a long time before I got home that night.
When I eventually got home the house was a tip. How long had I been away for? Just over 24 hours and the place looked like it had been ransacked. A sink full of dishes and dirty clothes all over the floor. I decided to take a deep breath and see the positive. Looking down at my 3 darling children put a smile on my face and they ran to hug me. They welcomed the new addition and that was that. They didnt care after that. We were all so tired. We fell asleep almost straightaway.
In the morning, I remember dealing with the baby and then trying to sort out the other kids when the doorbell rang. Who could that be? When I heard my partner open the door and say, “Just head on upstairs. They are up there” I panicked. I wasn’t dressed and the place was a tip.
It was the midwife. She came round to check me over. I had to apologise for the mess. I was so embarrassed. In order to do her checks she had to wake baby up. All that effort trying to put him down and she swoops in and asks me to undo all of that. Then of course we have an audience. My 3 kids decide to watch what the midwife is doing and prolong the visit by asking her a million questions. I was glad once that was over.
My mother in law helped me out for the first few days. She came round and helped out by cooking and cleaning, but it came with a side of moaning and complaining. Apparently the kids were noisy and messy. WELCOME TO MY WORLD!
By Mandeep Rai, Canterbury
Mandeep Rai Canterbury 